I can’t tell you if I first heard this on a podcast or TikTok University but it helped clear up the calamity between who identifies as an introvert and who is proudly an extrovert.

There are two types of people in the world: Those who wake up with a bag full of coins, and those who wake up with no coins at all.

Think of the coins as battery life or energetic currency.

Person A, (bag full) gives away a coin throughout their day with each social interaction.
Person B (coinless) obtains a coin with each social interaction throughout their day.

I spent 30 years, (I’m 31, cats out the bag) bogging myself down about feeling less and less social over time, because I’ve always been an “extrovert.” Anyone that knows me, knows I can talk to a wall but often choose not to, has to be up to me – stubborn. I was in student government in High School, and was the MC of every event, I was a dancer for 17 years – performing is where I thrived, I never joined a sorority but inserted myself in college life living vicariously through my friends that went Greek, I graduated and got into Sales, and kind of sort of never left sales, and as an adult..I unconsciously become best friends with everyone at every fitness studio & every coffee shop I go to. I’m social.

In tandem I have a robust inner monologue. I sometimes think I reply to people but I replied to them in my head. I have a social awkwardness radar that reaches over a 30 ft radius. Nine times out of ten, if my phone rings, I get immediate anxiety and prefer calling you back if the call isn’t scheduled. I dissociate in loud environments or conversations with large groups of people because I get overstimulated. By the age of 29 my routine ratio went like this: For every social outing I needed 3 days alone to recharge.

I am a walking oxymoron. I love people and crave connection but deplete easily from doing the people thing. I deeply admire those individuals that can go and go and give and give, because it truly is frustrating to love like I love – while also feeling the white noise creeping in when I’ve hit my threshold.

Yet, I would never trade my moments of solitude for the contrary. And solitude for me means being home with my Dog & Banks. But they know me. They have an infinite amount of coins in my bank.

So whether you’ve always been the social bee but are beginning to feel a shift, or you’re your best companion and suddenly are craving social connection – you’re allowed to be both, one, or the other.. All you owe yourself is to be mindful of the amount of coins you have – when your bag is heaping and when it’s running light.

I wake up with a bag of coins, and with each social interaction I give one away.

But sometimes, with certain people, my coins are infinite.