Several years ago, when I was in a “rut” during my career (rut being unhappy and unfulfilled because I dropped out of nursing school and decided to write a book while also working a corporate entry-level gig to make ends meet) – I said the words, “I can’t, I’m broke” to a colleague. To which he replied, “Well that sucks, I’ve always had everything I needed, never without, always with,” imagine me squinting my eyes assuming he’s just being a prick, and he says, “you’re only broke because you believe you are.”

My life changed every second after that conversation (Cheers, Louis – I never got to thank you), and still is.

The trick I learned: The space between what you want and what you have, is either believing that gap is like a moat without a bridge (in some cases an ocean without a yacht) or believing it’s just a matter of leaving your house.

I got what I wanted and needed because I stopped believing that it only existed in some fairytale fingertip future in the furthest corner of my mind. We aren’t talking money, not solely at least…
The love, the fulfillment, the peace, the security, the home, the lifestyle, whatever the heck comes to mind when I say, “what do you want, that you don’t have?” – THAT.

It doesn’t all just appear.

You have to put yourself in the physical space in order to feel it emotionally. To the males reading this (Banks’ friends – hi, stay – I’m not talking woo-woo).

Put yourself in the spaces & around people where this ultimate vision or version of you, exists. Maybe buying a ticket to Seoul isn’t in the cards today. But is it also not in the cards because of that inner monologue you got going on, of how out of reach it is? You want a beautiful life – there is an abundance of beauty out there for you to marvel at & partake in, for free. The possibility of what we want, lives in our language as much as it lives in our actions.
Remember me saying, “I can’t, I’m broke.” – terrible choice of words.

You want a beautiful and luxurious life? Buy the drink at the 5-star hotel and sit in the lobby and be that, feel that. Do the things within reach. Get creative. Embody the sensation of having it all – not just what is lazily available to you.

This mindset has taught me that luxury, is less about money & success and more about the feeling that it brings. Place yourself in environments that are congruent with your outrageous desires. Why? Because every single version of you that you think up, already exists. The one with the vibrant relationship, the one who is career fulfilled, the one financially abundant, the one with the car and the health and the house.

It is our thoughts & emotions towards what we deserve, that yield us toward what we want, yet more often even, what we lack.

And I’m sure many of you, are thinking, “must be nice” or “you can say that now” – Why yes, yes I can. Because I remember very descriptively where not thinking this way & not feeling this way, got me. Nowhere. Deeper into self-sabotage, non-deserving and limiting behavior. Saddest part is that it’s not even our fault. It’s not your fault. Before society kicked into our (sub)conscious minds, we were young kids that believed absolutely everything was ours for the taking, we could be anything. And then someone somewhere, built our moat.

I stopped saying, “I’m broke” and replaced it with “I have what I need, and when I need more I’ll have it,” I stopped thinking, “dating in Miami is terrible” and instead put myself in more appropriate spaces, I stopped low-balling myself to be “considerate” when negotiating salaries because the optimal version of me would never do that. I stopped allowing myself to feel like something was always lacking and took a deep appreciation for everything I had. And more came.

What betrays you is not your reality, it’s your perception of it.
Something I repeat to myself over and over again, every time I catch myself meandering around my desires: “Stop discounting what is available to you in this life.”

Happier you’re here,
Kenny